Relationship Audit Tool

Step 1: List Your Relationships

• Write down the names of the people you interact with regularly. This can include family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. Who would be in my list – My partner, my daughters, my mum, key people at work, my trainer ……….

Step 2: Evaluate the Strength of Each Relationship

• For each person on your list, rate the strength of your relationship on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being very weak and 10 being very strong. Now this can be tricky, try to think the normal state of your relationship (not the row you had last night about peeling carrots – yes that really happened in my life yesterday)

Step 3: Find Areas for Improvement

• Think about the aspects of each relationship that could be improved. Here’s a suggested list of potential improvements.
  • Communicate Openly: Honest and open communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. Make sure to express your thoughts and feelings clearly and listen actively to others. It is not always easy to actively listen, as mobile devices, children, or pets often distract us. Active listening requires focusing solely on the person speaking.
  • Show Appreciation: A little gratitude goes a long way. Take the time to acknowledge and appreciate the people in your life. It can be as simple as saying “thank you” or giving a compliment. I personally think that this one goes a long way – it makes people feel good about themselves, you and enables them to see that their work is recognised.
  • Spend Quality Time Together: Whether it’s a family member, friend, or partner, spending quality time together strengthens your bond. Plan activities that you both enjoy and try to be present in the moment. It is simpler to conduct this with personal or family connections, but it can also be applied in a professional setting. Consider going to the office for lunch with a colleague, arranging an after-work event, acknowledging a post, or making a call to them.
  • Be Supportive: Offer your support and encouragement to those around you. Being there for someone during their tough times can significantly strengthen your relationship. When my father passed away, my partner and daughters supported me as we navigated some challenging times.
  • Resolve Conflicts Respectfully: Disagreements are natural, but it’s important to handle them with respect and understanding. Focus on finding a solution rather than winning an argument. Mutual respect is so important – it has to be reciprocal. Each understanding the value, opinions and boundaries. At work mutual respect enables a positive and inclusive workplace whereby all can thrive.

Step 4: Set Goals for Improvement

• For each relationship, set specific and achievable goals to improve the areas you found. For example, if you rated communication low, you might set a goal to have more open and honest conversations. Goal setting for relationships might seem strange concept but if it helps you improve your relationships which enables you to achieve your goals – it would be worth the investment.

Step 5: Take Action

• Implement the goals you set for each relationship. This might involve scheduling regular catchups, expressing appreciation more often, or being more supportive during tough times.  It can be challenging due to barriers such as fear, perfectionism, lack of clarity, and procrastination. Break the goals down into meaningful steps, prioritise based on importance, and use reminders, prompts, and calendar entries. Address emotional barriers by understanding the cost-benefit analysis your mind performs when moving past hesitation and taking action.

Step 6: Review and Reflect

• After a few weeks or months, review your progress. Reflect on any changes in the strength of your relationships and adjust your goals as needed.