"Being a vulnerable leader / human ❤️"
I was on a flight to Riga over the weekend for an annual pre-Christmas trip to a different location. I sent my daughters a message from the flight.
It read .....
“I need to be honest and say this – I feel so low, and yet nothing is wrong! Everything is going better than I could ever have imagined 8 months ago.
Yet I feel sad and miserable.
The only thing that I can think it is about the anniversary of my Dad’s death. I do not want to become one of those people that every year a cloud of sadness comes over them BUT it is hard not rethinking all that happened from Dec 1st, 2023, onwards.
Lots of triggers are going off and I have the time and headspace to see them rather than hide behind busy lives.
Let us hope that by acknowledging it, feeling it, and owning it that I can move forward from it xxx”
My eldest wrote back words of love and assurance. The youngest asked “how are you sending texts from a plane?”
I cried with the kindness from my eldest and smiled at the youngest question.
I wanted to acknowledge my feelings, not for pity but to validate my natural vulnerability in processing grief.
Regardless of our workplace or life roles, everyone has vulnerabilities. It is important to acknowledge and address them as part of the healing and growth process. Avoiding these vulnerabilities can delay this process.
Admitting our own vulnerabilities enables us to recognise them in others and support them. We are then able to better facilitate others, team members, coaching clients, family members or friends to feel safe admitting their own. This builds strength and resilience enabling us all to be our best version of ourselves.
My dad had a 50-year marriage and acknowledged both anxiety and happiness in his life.
At 92, he had the death that he wanted – under his control with the people that he loved. I stroked his arm as he took his last breath. The noise stopped and he moved on.
We will soon take a trip to his last resting place reunited with his Mum & Dad in a tiny village churchyard. A few flowers and words.
And then I move on -
knowing that he is proud of me and the way that I am making a difference to others, I am loved, and my tears are a physical expression of my sadness of the end of our chapter of life together. ❤️
If you need support with grief or coming to terms with loss
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/